Laws Of Life

1. Murphy's First Law for Wives
If you ask your husband to pick up five items from the shops and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
2. Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noted.
3. The Salary Axiom
The pay rise is just enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take- home pay.
4. Miller's Law of Insurance
Insurance covers everything except what happens.
5. First Law of Living
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.
6. Weiner's Law of Libraries
There are no answers only cross-references.
7. Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.
8. The Carrier Bag Law
The chocolate bar you planned to eat on the way home from the supermarket is hidden at the bottom of the carrier bag.
9. Lampner's Law of Employment
When leaving work late, you will go unnnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet the boss in the car park.