Advise for the boss Advice to the Boss on How to Enhance Our Working Relationship
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a 'rush job', run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where your going. It gives me the chance to be creative when somebody asks me where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to be more independent and do without any help, which is why I work here..
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess. It builds management skills and my inate ability of mind reading.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and I really have nowhere to go and nothing else to do. My life is yours.
7. If a job pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.
9. If you have any special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done, or better yet until it is done, so I can learn repetitive perfection doing it your way.
10. Never introduce me to people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone else is less fortunate.
Advise for the boss Advice to the Boss on How to Enhance Our Working Relationship
Posted by vinu at 12:53 AM
The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.
The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work uut the height of the skyscraper.
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l/g).
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.
But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'.
"The student was Nils Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
Posted by vinu at 12:53 AM
funny how life suddnely throws u up one moment and then brings u crashing down... bet it really must have a crazy snse of humour to do what it does... well life for me looks on the up suddenly after a lil period of gloom and doom...
i seem to realize what i want from my life and will work hard towards getting it...
but the thing about my life is i reach cross-roads and then i wonder again whether i was following the right way...but things have a way of working.. always believed in it my entire life..if something happens it happens for good.. if it does not happen it is cos something better is waiting in the wings to come by
thats what we do.. we move one step ahead.. each of us have our lives marked by the choices we make.. we carry the scars showin the ones we r proud to have earned... hidin others
i have my scars...some i show off some i dont...as i move along the topsy turvy ways... knowin my destination.. not knowin what have in my way along.. i still move ahead... one step at a time
One of my favorite songs... just love the lyrics...read on
Final la liga game... as i write this real madrid just won the league after 4 years...cannot even express ma happiness... and if any1 has been followin the les merengues' season this year u'd know what i have been sayin... every single game they seem to have been knocked out just to come back... last game against zaragoza they seemed to have lost the title only for the last 20 seconds to change the whole spectre....
... even today they were a goal down and in a must win situation with barca up 3 goals... and as always madridistas delivered.. scorin three goals in the final 25 mins t win 3-1... capello delivers... fairy -tale ending for david beckham and roberto carlos... what better way to say goodbye... thank you both of yu.. especially beckham... cos his resurgence galvanized the whole team and they reached the title...it is his first title with madrid too... wish u culd stay further at the bernabeu...
As i said... we win the league from barca this year... next year who knows... but now lets celebrate and surrender to this sweet victory.....
Thank you lord for makin sundays.... slept like a log for most of the day... dunno what I'd do without Sundays
cartoon network was playing shrek... funny but love the ogre and the donkey..adorable the movie was....some of the animation movies are so profoundly entertaining....loved lion-king and it still is one of my favorite movies...nothing particular to do for the night an early dinner and back to sleep...aaahhh heaven....
interestin views with ignite and oliver on the concept of life... don't really know what my views are exactly... guess that is what we do as we live on, lead on..every step revealing something new that shapes our thought process so we move believing in something.... maybe right maybe wrong... the mysteries of life...dont think they'd be solved until we meet the one who created them
another week ends... getting ready for the battles lay ahead... hopin that sunday comes along sooner than later.... and then i get to do what i am gonna do now ...SLEEP....YIPPEEEE
Posted by vinu at 9:19 PM
Wanted to watch oceans 13 but somehow went in for jhoom... y'day.... first day last show... no clue how the movie wuld be... well this is what i thought about the movie
the first half does not make sense... the second does make sense a bit
lara dutta saved the movie for me.. man she is hot... p.zinta fizzles in front of her.. madam lara scores by leaps and bounds...
abhishek is OK... so is bobby deol...
guess who got the most whistles thruout the movie
SHEHNSHAH BACCHAN.. the soundtrack coupled with bacchan just about manages to move the movie forward... amitabh shows why the sun shall never set on him... even without a single dialogue... he raises the house every time he comes in
BOTTOM LINE: no story. lots of glitter, great soundtrack, hot lara... nothing much more than that.. and ya abhiskek's ring tone...loved it...
wont miss much if u miss this flick...
Posted by vinu at 5:02 PM
Once when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to
buy tickets for the circus. Finally, there was only one family between
the ticket counter and us. This family made a big impression on me.
There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12. You could
tell they didn't have a lot of money. Their clothes were not expensive,
but they were clean. The children were well behaved, all of them
standing in line, two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They
were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, elephants and other acts
they would see that night. One could sense they had never been to
the circus before. It promised to be a highlight of their young lives.
The father and mother were at the head of the pack standing proud
as could be. The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up
at him as if to say, "You're my knight in shining armour." He was
smiling and basking in pride, looking at her as if to reply, "You got that
The ticket lady asked the father how many tickets he wanted. He
proudly responded, "Please let me buy eight children’s tickets and
two adult tickets so I can take my family to the circus."
The ticket lady quoted the price.
The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped; the man's lip
began to quiver. The father leaned a little closer and asked, "How
much did you say?"
The ticket lady again quoted the price.
The man didn't have enough money. How was he supposed to turn
and tell his eight kids that he didn't have enough money to take them
to the circus?
Seeing what was going on, my dad put his hand into his pocket,
pulled out a $20 bill and dropped it on the ground. (We were not
wealthy in any sense of the word!) My father reached down, picked
up the bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me sir,
this fell out of your pocket."
The man knew what was going on. He wasn't begging for a handout
but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking,
embarrassing situation. He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took
my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and
with his lip quivering and a tear streaming down his cheek, he replied,
"Thank you, thank you, sir. This really means a lot to me and my
My father and I went back to our car and drove home. We didn't go to
the circus that night, but we didn't go without.
Posted by vinu at 9:27 PM
A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong.
School, family problems, severe health problems, etc.. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.
"Here, have some cooking oil."
"Yuck" says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs? "
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Grandma, those are all yucky!"
To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why he would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good ! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!"
God is Crazy About You. If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. Face it, He's crazy about you.
Posted by vinu at 10:37 PM
Deep in unfathomable mines
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
His purposes will ripen fast,
Blind unbelief is sure to err,
Posted by vinu at 10:37 PM
1. The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.
2. When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.
3. The deficiency will never show itself during the dry runs.
4. Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
5. An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.
6. When the product is destined to fail, the delivery system will perform perfectly.
7. The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.
8. Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
9. Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.
10. If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
11. The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.
12. Talent in staff work or sales will recurringly be interpreted as managerial ability.
13. The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinates' premonitions only during the postmortems.
14. Clearly stated instructions will consistently produce multiple interpretations.
15. On successive charts of the same organization the number of boxes will never decrease.
1. The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.
2. Ignorance is no excuse.
3. Never decide to buy something while listening to the salesman.
4. Information which is true meets a great many different tests very well.
5. Most problems have either many answers or no answer. Only a few problems have a single answer.
6. An answer may be wrong, right, both, or neither. Most answers are partly right and partly wrong.
7. A chain of reasoning is no stronger than its weakest link.
8. A statement may be true independently of illogical reasoning.
9. Most general statements are false, including this one.
10. An exception TESTS a rule; it NEVER PROVES it.
11. The moment you have worked out an answer, start checking it -- it probably isn't right.
12. If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the mistake will be made.
13. Being sure mistakes will occur is a good frame of mind for catching them.
14. Check the answer you have worked out once more -- before you tell it to anybody.
15. Estimating a figure may be enough to catch an error.
16. Figures calculated in a rush are very hot; they should be allowed to cool off a little before being used; thus we will have a reasonable time to think about the figures and catch mistakes.
17. A great many problems do not have accurate answers, but do have approximate answers, from which sensible decisions can be made.
And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he
was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most
caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child, whose next-door
neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap and just sat there. When his mother asked
him what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, "Nothing, I
just helped him cry."